General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsIf He Leaves You on a Mountain, End Your Relationship
One afternoon in July 2024, Stefanie Peiker, a hiking guide in the Austrian Alps, came across a woman lying on the ground, heavily injured after falling off her electric bike.
Her face was completely destroyed, she was bleeding and crying, Ms. Peiker said. The first thing I asked was, Are you alone?
The woman explained that shed been cycling with her boyfriend, Ms. Peiker said, but he had left her after an argument.
I called the ambulance, took out my first-aid kit, said Ms. Peiker, 31, who was on duty as a park ranger in a nature reserve that is part of a network of protected areas called Natura 2000. Then, the boyfriend came back and screamed how stupid she is and that she destroyed his holiday.
Though this was an extreme case, Ms. Peiker said she often comes across women who are alone on mountain paths because their partners are hiking ahead. So she wasnt surprised when, during the past weeks, women on Reddit, Instagram and TikTok began sharing stories of being left behind by their partners while hiking, biking and climbing in nature, calling it Alpine divorce.
Often, the women described risky or uncomfortable circumstances where their partners had more knowledge of the terrain or more experience with the sport. In some cases, the couple met again, but in others, the women remained alone or relied on strangers to descend the mountain safely.
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/12/style/alpine-divorce-relationships-hike.html?
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OK, even the fact that this is a known "thing" is proof that there is something deeply wrong with men.
Seriously, men, WTF?
bucolic_frolic
(55,366 posts)Respecting self and others. Modern media culture produces individuals who are lacking. IMHO.
wcmagumba
(6,339 posts)These women should certainly dump these "boyfriends" and look for a different type of man...
Dave says
(5,442 posts)...not for anything. And I'm not even talking about the accident. If my partner and I were out for a hike *together*, then we return together. No amount of disagreement (even if my partner suddenly professed a deep love for Hitler or Trump**) would lead me to leave her behind. Now, I might walk behind her if we were arguing, and I might call an Uber later, but we left on the hike together, we'll return from the hike together.
I just don't understand how people can be so cold and selfish. They belong to another universe, not the one I inhabit.
Notes
** And I'd have known long before the hike if my partner had a deep love for sadistic fascists. We wouldn't have made it to the point where we go on hikes together.
erronis
(24,040 posts)I'd never abandon my partner like that in a million years, either. I can't imagine it.
maxsolomon
(38,868 posts)I have ALWAYS turned back when my wife was uncomfortable.
I have also scrambled up higher while she waited below, with her consent.
I've also asked her, within reason, to push her comfort levels in alpine or desert terrain.
Hell, I'm the one with Acrophobia, and she has zero empathy for that.
Coventina
(29,781 posts)Why?
maxsolomon
(38,868 posts)It's the cause of all the world's ills.
efhmc
(16,778 posts)BeneteauBum
(572 posts)Ive been in the company of women who disdained anyone that didnt meet their criteria
especially in the sport of competitive sailing.
Peace ☮️
Cirsium
(3,969 posts)This is about putting someone in danger.
BeneteauBum
(572 posts)A few years ago, a woman deliberately rammed a friends boat during an offshore race because she thought he was a crappy sailor. A lot of negative feeling towards her caused her to move on. Yes, it can be about criteria.
Peace ☮️
slightlv
(7,816 posts)Of testosterone too... varying levels just like men. I will blame it on the hormone, regardless of the gender.
calimary
(90,265 posts)Just thinking about my guy. Hes the kind of man who would NEVER leave me in a lurch like that. In other words, a REAL man.
Thank you, God!
patphil
(9,120 posts)You don't abandon someone in a dangerous environment because you had a fight.
She could have died there.
EdmondDantes_
(1,920 posts)Way too many men need some serious introspection.
IronLionZion
(51,368 posts)especially if canoeing is new to both of you. It can teach you a lot about communication and working together vs arguing and yelling.
Travel or arts and crafts projects might work too maybe.
ms.pamela
(89 posts)This young woman was probably one of many that encountered dangerous and, in some cases, deadly issues while being abandoned in the wilderness by their boyfriends or spouses. Usually a male, hopes that this will solve his problem if the woman disappears from his life and many probably wish permanently with an unfortunate accident. A few incidents recently have had husbands actually killing or attempting to kill their wives in the wild.
Nasruddin
(1,276 posts)I've seen it some. My guess is it is some kind of dominance process. I don't personally understand it or empathize enough with it to have an answer, because the idea of leaving someone on the trail (male, female, animal) is incomprehensible to me.
Permanut
(8,436 posts)Grew up with a bunch of friends who were committed to keeping all women safe - including girls our age, mothers, sisters, aunts, all women. We thought that was what being macho was about.
Still do.
I hope there's a special place for these sleazeballs.
harumph
(3,307 posts)Young men were boys at some point and their parents should have taught them better. What a wretched man. I hope he reflects and
truly regrets his actions at some point. But in any case, yes, she should leave this guy.
meadowlander
(5,140 posts)when you're doing something in a group, that means you go at the pace of the slowest person so you all stay together unless there's a specific agreement that some people can go on ahead.
I remember going cycling with my dad and brother when I was about 8. I couldn't keep up, they made no effort to slow down for me even though I asked them to repeatedly. Finally I got fed up and went to cry in the 7/11 bathroom for like half an hour and they just cycled home without noticing. I got home almost an hour after them and they never even noticed or commented on it. Literally anything could have happened to me in the meantime.
I do think sometimes people get a competitive and sadistic streak when they are doing group fitness activities like this and it makes them look down on the "weaker" people who can't keep the same pace without thinking about their broader relationship or their duty of care. I had a boss who did this on team away days too where they were a triathlete and would make the whole team walk at their pace on walking tours without any consideration for older team members with health limitations. One girl wore the wrong shoes and was limping and bleeding by the end and the boss just totally ignored her.
Fatphobia plays into it a lot of the time too. It's okay to treat people like nothing and lead them into dangerous situations because it's their fault for not exercising more.
Iggo
(49,960 posts)milestogo
(23,132 posts)So if a woman is walking with a man who is taller she's either going to have to work a lot harder to keep up or he's going to have to slow down. This has to be explained to most men, who don't understand the reason that their female companion is falling behind.
Cirsium
(3,969 posts)We are getting "it goes both ways" and "not all men."
Here. Among Democrats.
Response to Coventina (Original post)
PeaceWave This message was self-deleted by its author.
hunter
(40,749 posts)I don't think it's paywalled.
NNadir
(38,182 posts)...for a situation I was unable to manage alone.
Before I met my wife I had many unhappy relationships that ended in a conversation, sometimes psychologically hurtful (in either direction) but never, ever, in situations involving physical distress.
One of my ex-girlfriends was a gay woman exploring heterosexuality, perhaps for business reasons. I really liked her, almost to the point of falling in love, but the reason I gave up on it was that her circle of friends, all gay women, could not refrain from discussing men as evil caricatures. They did this in my presence, and I took it, correctly I think, as an expression of personal contempt for my presence.
I don't believe I know any men, unless I'm missing something, who would do such a thing.
I love my wife more than I will ever be able to express in words, but I wouldn't need such love as that to assure the safety of a mere acquaintance in such a setting.
This article is journalistic click baiting.