It's a rural school district in N.J. Grandson is 11. Daughter gets a call from the guidance counselor that

[3Hotdogs]

a girl was trying to convince him that god was real. He argued that god is not real. He called her "grotesque." He was told that names are not appropriate ways to win an argument and to talk to a teacher or other adult if someone was pushing religion on him instead of arguing back.

Counselor then said that while he's not in trouble now, if it repeats, he may have an "HIB" (Harassment, intimidation bullying) report placed in his file.

Daughter then directed the counselor to the "Separation" part of the 1st Amendment and that the lad has the right not to have to hear about religion during school hours and on school grounds. Harassment, intimidation and religious bullying can work both ways.

The counselor kinda backed off the "bullying" routine after that.

In N.J., there is the "New Jersey Law Against Discrimination." "Religion and creed, including atheism, agnosticism and non-belief are protected statuses in areas of workplace and public entities."

------------------

Daughter asked for family input:

"Since religion is protected, ask the counselor how this girl's "HIB" plan is coming along since she's bullying the boy on his religion."

"Tell your son that religious people are all nut jobs and just not talk about god in school. If it happens again, report to the teacher or principal."

"Like if a kid was a Christian or Jewish kid and she was spouting some Muslim stuff, this would absolutely not stand."

"Either keep it low key with just the guidance counselor or go full steam by calling the Board office and ask the contact information for the Board attorney."

[Orrex]

1. Props to this young felow

I’ve been atheist since before I knew the word for it, and I applaud him for standing up for himself against what is, indeed, a grotesque position.

[LymphocyteLover]

2. Seems like the girl was bullying your grandson! Pushing god talk on him. I'm sure she tried to make him feel bad

Last edited Wed Mar 18, 2026, 09:33 AM - Edit history (1)

for not believing

[3Hotdogs]

3. Silly you. She was worried about his eternal sole.

[LymphocyteLover]

10. what about his shoelaces? Was she worried about those too?

[LastDemocratInSC]

15. Presidentially blessed Florsheims have eternal soles.

[femmedem]

4. Kudos to the grandson for standing his ground, and to your daughter

for successfully making the case for the son's legal rights. And I'm glad the family supports them.

The only area where I'd handle it differently: I'm an atheist myself, but I wouldn't tell a child that all religious people are nut jobs. I have many religious friends, and although we've gotten there via different paths, we share the same values.

Instead, I'd say that atheists and religious people have the same right to respect and nondiscrimination for their beliefs.

[3Hotdogs]

5. Not to worry, the stepdaughter who passed that on and the mom-daughter are more enlightened than that.

[ShepKat]

8. I told my kids...

everyone has, in all fairness, their theory- not facts.

I'm a militant agnostic.
I don't know, and you don't know either.
I am not confused, but just consider it a non-topic.

This one is cute-
When we die, the soul's spark returns to the ark to rest.
If we haven't learned our lessons yet, we get to return to this planet to learn them.
Once the lessons have been learned, the spark can stay... and becomes a Guardian spirit

[kerouac2]

6. He called her a name to insult her

He would likely have been fine if not for that word. Regardless of whatever voodoo nonsense she was spouting, as long as she didn't call him a name and he called her one, she could call him out for it. No way the girl was going to let a heathen arguing about God with her get away with that.

Chat gpt says:

In this context, the word is a sophisticated but very harsh insult. Using "grotesque" instead of a common word like "ugly" suggests the child is trying to be intentionally cutting, using a "big word" to maximize the impact and make the other child feel truly "monstrous" or repulsive.

My final thought:
If it happens again at school, he should tell on her immediately for harassing him about his religious beliefs. Then follow up to see if it was reported and added to her file.

Girl was preaching to my son on the bus about Jesus rising from the dead. He said that meant Jesus was a zombie. She lost it, called him all sorts of things lol. They were in first or second grade. She literally wouldn't associate with him again. Thank God.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

7. you made a fine point. Why undermine and dilute it by asking for output from a plagiarism machine?

[kerouac2]

14. Was curious what "it" would say

And thought it was interesting.

[AverageOldGuy]

11. "He called her a name to insult her"

He said her beliefs were grotesque.

[kerouac2]

13. Called her, not her belief

It said:
He called her "grotesque."

[cab67]

9. At his age....

....the finer points of argumentation might not have fully developed. But if I was with your grandson (which I'm not), and if it were appropriate for me to give him advice (which it's not), I'd reinforce the lesson that arguments are strongest when one is not including insults against one's opponent.

He was right to argue in favor of his opinion. And the best way to come on top of an argument is to stick to the argument and not get dragged into name-calling.

But as you said, he's 11. My daughter is about the same age (10), and her tolerance for being verbally bullied without retaliation is not as high as mine.

My $0.02.

[Americanme]

12. Yes, i agree that trying to force religion on atheists is bullying.

Believe what you want, but damn, don't push it. Especially not at a public school.

[IbogaProject]

16. Sounds like she was looking for attention

She could have accepted his verbal appraisal and moved on but she had to make a stink and then either her or her family decided to waste school resources over a differing opnion about an uproveable idea.