Trump engulfed in humiliation of the year - Another Day - Brian Tyler Cohen

[TexasTowelie]

BTC: Easter is a time to honor Jesus. But for Trump, there's only room for one deity in today's GOP. This is just another day.

Just like years past, today was the traditional Easter egg roll on the White House lawn and also like years past, our current president gave a short address to welcome the families and their young children to the joyous celebration.

[cut to video]
Trump: One year ago, a little bit more, our country was dead. We had a dead country.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Oh, somehow that guy in the Easter Bunny outfit is trying to hide his face even more.

Yes, in a surprise to no one, Donald Trump took zero break from his standard arrogance and vitriol because, as history has taught us, if you let your foot off the gas even for a smidge, your rivals might see you as a human being which is why Donald Trump essentially wandered the White House grounds today, spreading his usual gospel of optimism.

[cut to video at White House]
Reporter: What do you say to Americans who are now going out of the war?

Trump: Uh, they're foolish. They're animals and we have to stop them and we can't let them have a nuclear weapon. Very simple.

[snip]

Trump: Did anybody in the egg industry vote for Kamala? A low IQ. She's a low IQ person.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Totally. Because only someone with a high IQ would know that the Easter egg roll is the prime location to vocalize the grudge you hold against that person you beat in an election over a year and a half ago.

You know, today could have been a day of joy. Could have been a day of levity. A day for families to gather and forget that a mere 24 hours earlier, their host was going scorched earth online.

[cut to video from CNN]
Jake Tapper: [reading Trump post] Open the Fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in hell. JUST WATCH.

[cut to studio]
BTC: My god, can you imagine getting that mad over something that you don't even need?

[cut to video]
Trump: The amazing thing is we don't need the Hormuz Strait. We don't need it. We don't need it at all. We don't. We have so much oil.

[cut to studio]
BTC: You see, it's a completely superfluous waterway that they better fucking open pronto or there will be hell to pay or not. Who really cares? Not me. I am so chill.

But you better open FUCKING the war! And because of Trump's characteristic chillness, he was able to address the war he's gotten America embroiled in, no matter what was going on around him.

[cut to video]
Trump: We could leave right now and it would take them 15 years to rebuild what they have. We could leave right now, but I want to finish it up. Iran ready cannot have a nuclear weapon.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Wow. I've never heard Donald Trump's hawkish ramblings under jazz before. And if I'm being honest, it sounds pretty fucking terrible. But if you like it, then I suggest you pick up this president's latest album, Trumpets. Let's have a listen.

[cut to video with background music]
Trump: The entire country can be taken out in one night. And that night might be tomorrow night.

[snip]

Trump: We're giving them uh we're giving them till tomorrow 8:00 Eastern time. And after that, they're going to have no bridges, they're going to have no power plants. Stone ages. Yeah.

[cut to studio]
BTC: See, when you're getting your funky groove on, you almost forget that our commander-in-chief is about to commit war crimes. Almost.

Now, some might be saying, "Well, all of this was Trump talking to reporters and adults." I'm sure when the president got around young kids, he obviously changed his tune during these light-hearted religious celebrations. And to that I say, "Oh, ye of too much faith."

[cut to video of White House Easter picnic]
Trump: Who likes the fake news? Does anybody like the fake news?

[cut to studio]
BTC: [sarcastically] Um, I don't know, Mr. Trump. I'm six and can't even write my own name, so not sure why you're asking me. Do children like the fake news? What the fuck is wrong with this guy? The only kind of news children like is the fake kind. No kid wants to be tucked into bed and read “Where the Wild Things Used to Be, but now, Thanks to Climate Change, They're Extinct.”

Donald Trump just can't stop himself. There is no event too family friendly, no ceremony too special, no location too sacred that this man won't use it to score political points and spew his bile. He saw no problem with exploiting his visit to Arlington National Ceremony. He felt totally fine using his past Thanksgiving to trash Governor Tim Walz of Minnesota by calling him retarded and he took no issue with using the dignified transfer of fallen American soldiers for his own fundraising emails.

But even with all of that, there was something about today's unhinged Easter-based ramblings that felt slightly different from his normal level of lunacy. It seems like whenever a big Christian holiday rolls around, Donald Trump's rage is really off the charts. Remember Christmas?

[cut to video from WINK]
Brinkley Hill: He had a very business busy Christmas, posting over 100 times on Truth Social. Now, he made sure to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. President Trump made sure to extend his warm wishes to “the radical left scum.”

[cut to video from MS NOW]
Host: And that was just one of the nearly 150 times Trump posted in an unhinged rage baiting spree on Christmas Day.

[cut to video]
Trump: Santa, he said he's a very good person. We want to make sure that he's not infiltrated, that we're not infiltrating into our country a bad Santa. So, we found out that Santa is good.

Kid: Thank you. Bye.

Trump: Santa loves you. Santa loves Oklahoma like I do. You know, Oklahoma was very good to me in the election.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Boy, does this guy just get children. I hear you want a Nintendo Switch for Christmas, but don't you think a 35% tariff on Canada sounds like even more fun? Yes, just like today's Jesus-based celebration, this president couldn't help but lash out and make everything about him. And I think the reason is Donald Trump is jealous of Jesus. On Christmas and Easter, hundreds of millions of people around the globe praise a man that isn't him. And it drives Trump insane. He has spent his entire life trying to make people treat him like a deity. And if you look at the current Republican party, he's kind of succeeded.

[cut to video montage]
RFK Jr.: On August 23rd of last year, God sent me President Trump.

Unrecognized: Thank God for President Trump.

Ted Cruz: God bless Donald J. Trump.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Wow. Ted Cruz really turned the other cheek after Trump told the world Ted's wife should turn both cheeks and just walk backwards from now on.

But no matter how much the GOP praises him, Jesus is still the one guy who's got Trump beat and he is busting his ass to change that. Jesus had his face on some buildings, so Trump put his face on a building. People rock a Jesus necklace, so Trump has his store pump out his own necklace. Jesus gets in the hat game. Trump is right there behind him.

While Christians around the world see Easter as a time to get dressed up, go to church, or simply gather with their families, and let their children take a picture with that weird single guy from the neighborhood, Donald Trump sees this holiday as a reminder that no matter what he says, no matter what he does, he will never be number one. And that's because he is the exact opposite of Jesus.

Jesus taught forgiveness. Trump doesn't forgive anyone. Jesus taught to love your enemies. Trump hates them with a burning passion. And while Jesus taught about the perils of hoarding wealth, Trump can't stuff enough of it in his pockets. Donald Trump goes against every single one of Jesus's teachings. It's almost like he's the anti-Christ. There has never been a more self-serving president in the history of our country. So Donald Trump can talk all he wants about how he's a man of faith. But to anyone who believes that gospel,

[cut to video]
Trump: Uh, they're foolish.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Exactly.

[Whip-poor-will]

1. Snuff films

That will be humiliating.