FCC Chair Brendan Carr says broadcast licenses are not a "property right"

[gfarber]

2. Broadcast License Control

There once was a chair named Brendan Carr,
Who warned, “Broadcasters better take care!
Your license could vanish,
Your airtime I’ll banish—
If your war coverage isn’t quite fair.”

He posted while tensions ran high with Iran,
Declaring the news had a plan:
“Hoaxes you’re spinning,
With distortions beginning—
Correct it before renewals begin!”

He echoed complaints from Trump, you see,
Who fumed at the press angrily:
“The headlines mislead!
They want us to bleed!”
(While blasting a scoop from The WSJ with glee.)

The outlet belongs to Dow Jones’s domain,
Yet comment requests went in vain.
Five tankers struck hard,
In a desert-base yard—
But the headline, said Trump, was the stain.

Then Pete Hegseth complained in a brief,
About CNN’s reporting with grief:
“Perhaps soon you’ll see
New control on TV—
And the coverage will offer relief.”

For David Ellison waits in the wings,
With a deal worth a hundred-plus things:
To buy Warner Bros. Discovery,
Through Paramount Skydance’s spree—
And reshape what the newsroom now brings.

He’s shaken up desks at CBS News before,
With a shift toward conservatives more.
Editors scatter,
Old balances shatter—
While pundits debate what’s in store.

And somewhere observers all grin,
At strong-armed control of the spin:
Even Vladimir Putin, they note,
Used subtler ways to promote
A grip on the news from within.

Disclaimer: Yes, an AI helped write this—because if you’re looking for pure, hand-crafted literary suffering, you’re welcome to go produce some yourself. If you like my attempts, consider clicking the link.

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