Forgive me if "Maude" has already been thoroughly discussed here. But...

[sl8]

11. Not one of the more socially relevant issues, but Walter gave his grandson some important urination information.

For some reason, that moment from the show sticks in my memory. Phillip is his grandson.

[...]
Phillip!

We only pass this way once. So before I go, there's one great truth I'd like to teach you.
Now, where were you at 6:00 this morning?

In the bathroom.

Good. The house is very quiet at 6 a.m., Phillip, and the walls are very thin. That means, Phillip, if you don't wanna wake up a tired old man, try for the side of the bowl, not the water.

Now, Phillip, repeat after me:

"When water falls on water it makes a sound that all can hear.
But when it's sprayed on porcelain it falls silent to the ear."

You understand?

"When it's sprayed on porcelain..."

That's very good, very good. Now run along and play. And Phillip, run around the bases once for your old grandpa.

Okay, Gramps.

Walter, what did you say to the boy?

Man talk. You wouldn't understand.

[...]

https://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?t=139933