So let's review what Americans put in their orifices...

[3catwoman3]

6. The one that stands out was the story of a woman...

...who managed to insert a sewing machine bobbin into her urethra.

I cannot imagine how that is even possible.

I arrived at work one morning to find everyone sort of snickering. A man in his 50's had sneaked into his sister's home in the middle of the night, and attempted to pleasure himself with his sister's vacuum cleaner. Not just the hose, mind you, but the carpet brush. At that time, in the early 1970s, there was a popular Sears/Kenmore model known as the Beater Bar Power Mate, which had apparently been the "weapon of choice," so to speak.