Women still "can't have it all"? Have men EVER had it all?

[MadrasT]

4. Yes I think this is a problem, too.

And I agree with your statements:

Furthermore, the assumption that men don't really want to stay at home because -well, they are MEN, is insulting and unfair.

And:

My opinion is that any woman's movement that tries to readjust society so that they can "have it all" must necessarily address the lack of freedom that men have (arguably LESS freedom than women in the "have it all" department).

I think the idea that women should even try to "have it all" is ridiculous. I think women need to make choices about what is important to them and understand that there is a consequence to making certain choices. That perspective may not be popular in some circles, but it is what I believe.

I totally understand your frustration with this issue:

One somewhat separate, but related issue, is that largely in order to even attract a mate, men must prove themselves (usually) to be earners, successful men who can bring in money. You can show exceptions to this, but it is the norm in most societies.

It is interesting to me, as a high-income female, how uncomfortable and tricky it is to have relationships with men who earn less than me (which is most men I know). It is a drastic shift in the traditional dynamic and usually takes some degree of personal work and a lot of communication to adjust to. It is probably not as hard as it would have been 30 or 40 years ago, but it's still a bit of an issue. How much a man earns has never been a factor to me because I was raised to be completely self sufficient (so that a relationship could be a choice) but I do hear from a lot of men I know that they have felt rejected on the dating circuit for not making enough $$. That seems so shallow and materialistic to me. I want a partner, not a provider.