I have to let my frustration out. Sorry for this post.

[hamsterjill]

21. It's been a long day...

First, thank you all for the kind words, wisdom and compassion in your responses to my post. I hope to answer each one as time allows because they were all very special to me today. I felt like each one was a needed warm hug – at a time when I really needed a warm hug.

Elijah has been set free from his failing body. I told him that he would be whole again, and to wait for me and all of the others to join him. You see, for me, if there is a heaven and I’m to be happy there – then my babies will have to be there.

Elijah paid me the highest compliment that a street cat can pay a human being. He started showing up last winter, fearful, cold and hungry. Angry at the world and certainly angry at humans. I’ve seen it many times. He had to have been, at one time, loved and comforted. He had obviously been tossed out, or lost, or something. He’d been on his own for a while and had become a warrior in order to survive. He wanted NO part of me.

Over time, as he understood that he had a warm place to rest, that the food would always be on time, and that I wasn’t a threat to him, he started to loosen up – eventually allowing me to come close and pet him, and then to pick him up and hug him.

You see, THAT is the greatest compliment. When one of them has given up on humans, but finds one that they can finally trust enough to relinquish all that fear and anger and coldness. He took a chance on me! I was and still am, very flattered.

The post that I linked in the OP pretty much describes me and what I do, as well as what has been going on with Elijah medically. I’ve been in rescue for well over 40 years, and I’ve had to make the decision to euthanize over a hundred times. It is NEVER easy, and it doesn’t get easier the more you are forced to face it. In fact, I think it’s cumulative, and I think it gets harder. Each one is special in their own way, individual and unique. Each one leaves a hole in my heart.

But making that awful decision and how you handle it ALSO depends on what’s going on in your life and the stresses you are facing at the time. All of the Trump stuff and the fear and the stupidity and the anger that we ARE ALL enduring right now just got to me and I needed a place to let my thoughts out – to others who I knew would understand. I am grateful that I have this place to come to in order to do that.

All of us “animal people” are quite intuitive in my opinion. We learn to communicate and speak to other species by watching their expressions, listening to their sounds, paying attention to their actions, etc. THAT makes us intuitive about humans, too. We learn to read those same signs in human beings. So, WE see what is going on, I believe, even when others don’t.

We know what Trump is, know what he’s capable of, and there’s nothing that blindsides us about his corruption. Knowing that is a heavy burden to carry – and we are all, here in this group, carrying that burden. There is reason for real fear and angst, and we can’t ignore the facts in front of us.

So, thank you again from the bottom of my heart for hearing my hurt, knowing my pain, and understanding me.

I don’t plan to go to the protests tomorrow. I think it’s pretty obvious that I need a little time to reflect and heal. But I hope any and all who do go know that I am proud of you and appreciative of you for doing it. We have to take this country back and regain our safety and comfort and our way of life.

Peace and hugs to each and every one of you.