I thought it would get better by now. Husband died 2-6 and I still can't sleep and must force

[crimycarny]

11. I lost my son a little over 4 years ago

I lost my son to suicide at age 25, just a little over 4 years ago. One thing I learned very quickly about our society is how grief-illiterate we are. It is a pain that can't be described, as there are no human words for the devastation, the complete implosion of your entire belief system and reason for existence.

I got so much "advice" from people who had no clue. Megan Devine's book, "It's Ok You're Not Ok: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand," was a lifesaver. Megan Devine talks about this same sort of "advice" she got, as well as the judgment (she lost her fiancé, who drowned in a river as they were walking together).

My advice would be to find a support group of people with similar loss, and I highly recommend Megan Devine's book.

David Kessler has a website, "grief.com". He was a grief counselor who worked with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Then he lost his son, he said that after losing his son (overdose), he wanted to go to every patient he'd counseled and apologize. What he thought he knew about grief, he realized he'd gotten all wrong. I just visited his site, and he has a free live event coming up on 3/24: "When a Spouse Dies: Support for the Loneliness No One Talks About." If you register for the event, you will get a link to a video of it in case you can't attend live.

I'm so sorry for your devastating loss.