I thought it would get better by now. Husband died 2-6 and I still can't sleep and must force

[tavernier]

81. It will be nine years next month, and I still get tears in my eyes when a certain song comes on

or movie or memory. The awful part was that it was even too painful to talk to him without getting overly emotional, so I felt as if I had lost complete touch. Then something very odd happened and this is going to sound strange because it did to me at the time also. I read that everyone could have a spirit guide, a real person who had passed, who could help with communication if they accepted your request to have them as a spirit guide. I am a Christian and I am spiritual, but I just didn’t feel like I wanted religion to be a part of this process, so I asked a very personal favorite singer who I always felt a closeness to if he would consider being my spirit guide. You would know the name, he is very well known, but I won’t say it because it is kind of personal. But when I had a real desire to speak with my husband and I just couldn’t, I would speak with my spirit guide and I would feel so much better because I really felt like he was connecting us. When I had really rough times, oddly a song would come on seemingly out of nowhere where he was singing, and it really calmed me down. My daughter once remarked with a laugh how odd it was that everytime she and I got in the car or went to a restaurant, a song from this performer came on. It took a few years, but now it is easier for me to actually communicate in my mind with my hubby and feel his closeness. I guess we all deal differently, but I really needed some help and I really feel like my guide was there for me and still is.