Scapegoated for reporting

[jfz9580m]

56. I don't like posting

1) None of this has anything to do with my field; 2) I don’t want to forget the first 33 years of my life and 3) I cannot emphasize this enough-a) it is not in my head and b) I do not buy it.

I am not a very good scientist, but I do know where to look for facts and people to trust maybe because of that.

This does not look sustainable and one of the reasons I am so mad is that you will keep fooling politicians who are not as savvy as Sheldon Whitehouse or Elizabeth Warren and you keep selling these scams from inside the system that off scams outside and I am in the crosshairs of this garbage heap from Idiocracy and I keep mimicking you because I don’t understand how anyone confuses two distinct things- being a slacker or stoner on your own time in private and pissing off your own employers and lab and this delusional attempt to commodify stuff that cannot be commodified.


If I didn’t have attention issues severe enough that I cannot tune out bona fide nuisances.
I would follow a template of safety or something if such a thing existed.

But you keep changing things and I don’t trust you to be competent and you bullshit and puff a lot but you have a narrow and stupid worldview.

You keep ascribing your lens on the world to me and what I have been trying to say is that I don’t have that lens because it would be stupid. I usually assume whoever is geographically closest will be the biggest damn nuisance.

I feel a very harmonious diss is being misunderstood.
And another thing is, I don’t think men are sensitive to how an isolated woman sees the world. Women who watch all this are unlikely to be as well.

Most of the conflict in my life comes from breaking things. If I have to

I think you all make a lot of noise and are very annoying but we can totally not get along and ideally you face serious repercussions and I come out okay.

And that is.

I don’t take you seriously. The head of the microscopy facility was an adult. I don’t understand this..

It is clear that no one will take responsibility and everyone will blame other people’s issues and non profits and so on.
I don’t want anything to do with this or you.

You could not not have known and on top of that if unljke my best friend ..anyway this crowd in my state in India, I am filing a criminal case against.

And I am filing misconduct and malpractice allegations. Going all the way back to the Indian male stalker in the black t-shirt with AIG writtten on it in Chennai in July or August 2014 when I went there to abandon that green card- nevrr wanted a marriage greencard. I had asked my mentor to renew my postdoc H1B but he asked me to apply for a greencard and so I didn’t want to get into why I consider a marriage greencard demeaning and not very consistent with women’s liberation. But social awkwardness kept me from saying that.
I am over social awkwardness.

I am filing complaints about all of it.

The management school creep from the second place I stayed at in the Fall of 2011. The city where the first family I stayed with rented space to me. They were okay. Decent people but not people whose instincts I would trust an inch outside the routine. The sexual harasser/holographer from 2014; The creepy indian doctor from 2010 in the south.

I just find it lame when you see patterns like this group or that. That is pathetic.

I think you are all unique nuisances whose precious snowflake like unique nuisance value should be understood.

This is cheap low rent comedy and it can never be a product.

Language and context have stoped confusing me.
You will piss off so many people that I think it is highly (pun!) likely that I can get people like Hemanth Kappanna or similar to believe me. And people like Madhav Gadgil or Tejas Thackeray. People like Yasha Levine, Ed Zitron, Chris Ketcham, Arno Rosenfeld.

The vegan lady locally. I have mixed feelings when women are aware of this. If they are like me surely they want to go MeToo immediately. I did. If they are not like me, no.

And I have become worn down over time into accepting that convincing the least despicable of these bros- no it is totally friendly and positive..

It is not a problem with decent low power men or decent men.
A subset of these guys - it is like some sort of ..

It is not the guys I am going to straight up file charges against. It is not harmless men.

But this in between type that is not involved and can process apparently some kind of alpha female or competent enough or a camgirl or a mental case and as far as I can tell since I am none of those, best case would process me as a housecat (feral cat really) or a child.

i was shooting for housecat. Very few perverts out there.
I make teh joke. It is okay since it is all very serious and all I am really worried about is ..oh this..war of economic attrition.

There is potential here if the Indian state clampsdown on all these harassers in India. If you drove down this street or continue to, it is not gangstalking, it is an illicit encroachment.

I will come out and risk saying this. I have a meeting point with the type of males I was talking about. I am not your daughter etc. I already have a dad and find it hard to communicate with him.


This is a pointless nuisance and you guys do..this is not as difficult as some things.

I am taking a leap of faith here. It sounds lame and fake and I may not be able to pull it off. But I take my work portfolio seriously and don’t like people looking at it.

I am ashamed of having common ground with bosses and Type As because they put people off work. I liked this postdoc in my main lab because he used to work really hard without disgusting me.
This exhibitionism of “I work 2 million hours every second”..this PanOpticon is built by idiots who keep failing to get that it doesn’t matter.
When people see them, except other sociopaths no one will like them.

It is why except the maliciously stupid no one hates Dr Fauci or scientists or doctors in general. This Si Valley boss versus this trashy mob bro- this is a battle from hell that will deplete us all.
And I would not be rude or cold etc unless you may not get it.

The war is on your and my attention and one of economic attrition and
Don’t send your kids into this etc. In a foreign country to muck around and get mired.
This should be handled locally by the decent police clamping down on all movie industry and gaming encroachment, all crass hospitals.

And what I am trying to tell you is you gotta understand human behavior inspite of the net.

I don’t leave reality or get confused about who I am. But who I am dealing with 😭

Good god. Because you are not even involved and don’t hate me.
I am totally neutral.

My bias is geographical. And it is about who I can take on using in perfectly decent ways whatever biases exist where they can be used - animal behavior.
But there is no left or right point and you cannot turn this into anthropology etc.

I selected four reporters. None of whom would have prejudices and none of whom would discount your views. I don’t.
But you cannot expect me to try to follow your rule books or pretend “i dont even exist and am a sad loser”
No. I just like plain fare in science and this was a mistake because these guys love these defective machines and insist it is Gigo rather than accept the kind of clean and high end (the other high!) lab space that Stanford, MIT, IIT, The Ivy League, Facebook, Google etc are legitimately too inferior to build.

It sounds like this petty diss. Its not. They don’t seem to get that economics is not a hard science and gaming people is not gonna work.
You cannot keep getting rid of regulators ans insisting like people who insist that wet markets are culture (they are not. They are like factory farms) that your permacrisis is not the job the US and Indian states and Facebook, Google, Tata, Reliance etc to clean up not mine.

If I allowed this at all, maybe Germany. Not the nazi parts. Like that Prof Mouritsen.
This stuff is rubbish. It may be a jaded and negative perspective but those are needed!
You are too bullish and scientists are too polite.

Even I made some haphazard attempts to .well I was just waiting. Now I think the time is right but if this entrenches further that means more worthwhile jobs will go making room for gig work and.
I owe Current Affairs and Yasha Levine for being people I can trust like DU to distinguish between internet crap and reality and to understand economics and to help my low self esteem in hard science alone to not keep me from recognizing the serious obligations I have to other scientists.
Its an AHA moment. Adam Mackay.
But till this crowd in india whoever were involved between April 2012 and now gets shut down and the whole illicit thing shutdown and taken for complaints/
I owe it to my oncologist, my medical mj co, my medical mj doctor (one ot two people my pharmacist aside who actually helped).


I have a few wrap up notes.